Taking Up Space in Midlife
- Kate Oakley
- Feb 24
- 2 min read
A year ago, I shared this video of myself exercising on the beach.
It wasn’t the first time I’d received comments about my body - but it was by far the worst.
The comments, mostly on Facebook, were harsh. Some were genuinely brutal. And many of them came from women.
What struck me wasn’t criticism of the exercise itself. It was the conversation around age, appearance and the unspoken question that seemed to sit underneath it all:
Is this appropriate for a woman in midlife?
I’m sharing that video again, not to revisit the comments, but to step back and look at something bigger.
The discomfort of visibility
There is still a quiet discomfort when midlife women take up space physically.
When we lift weights. When we wear shorts. When we speak confidently about our bodies. When we prioritise our health without apology.
It challenges long-held ideas about ageing, shrinking and staying in the background.
And sometimes that discomfort shows up as criticism.
Something is shifting
At the same time, more women than ever are moving, lifting, running businesses, starting new chapters and refusing the narrative that midlife is a winding down.
So perhaps the tension we’re seeing isn’t resistance - it’s visibility.
More women are showing what strength looks like beyond youth. More conversations are happening in public. More bodies are being seen in ways they weren’t before.
That visibility can feel uncomfortable at first. Change often does.
The real question
The question isn’t whether everyone approves.
It’s whether we allow ourselves to show up anyway.
To move in ways that feel good. To build strength without permission. To exist in our bodies without commentary being the deciding factor.
Because the alternative is shrinking - and that helps no one.
A conversation worth having
I’m less interested in the comments themselves now than in what they reveal.
Are attitudes towards midlife women changing? Or are we simply seeing the pushback more clearly because more of us are visible?
I don’t have a fixed answer. But I do know this conversation matters.
And every woman who keeps showing up helps shift it a little further.
I'd love to hear what you think in the comments below.
Kate x
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